Monday, November 26, 2012

What do Mr.Rogers, my grandmother and good early childhood teachers have in common?

Fred Rogers of Mr. Roger's Neighborhood sent a powerful message to children about a world that is good, orderly and worthy of respect. He purveyed the message with his calm demeanor and regular habits (putting on his indoor shoes and sweater slowly and methodically) while talking directly to the children (although unseen) with deep interest and respect. His behavior gave the sense that no matter what happened, everything would be okay and if situations arose (stories of inappropriate social behaviors for example), he would seize the learning opportunity and teach a moral lesson. He responded rather than reacting to situations in a way that was slow and steady; that makes children feel safe. I was reminiscing last weekend about Thanksgivings at my grandparents' house. When we entered the house as children, the box of dad's old toys was out and the tables were set with turkey name tags and a glass of apple juice at each plate. In the retelling, this does not sound extraordinary, but it felt that way to us just because it was simple and consistent. My paternal grandparents lived not far from the house I grew up in with my parents and seven siblings. We loved going to their house and looked forward to their Friday visits when we would share a dessert and the evening. My grandfather's specialty was game-playing and my grandmother's specialty was baked goods but even more important, her presence. Around her, we wanted to be good. We knew that if we sat next to her, she would speak calmly and quietly to us but mostly she would listen, regarding words or injuries shared with quiet attention and care. I can picture her cradling my finger with a boo boo in a way that felt healing. She was steady and to a child (my cousins included), we adored her. We felt deeply respected, loved and hopeful that we were growing up in a world that was good. Predictability and goodness are the same for a child. LifeWays early childhood teachers know that being calm, consistent and caring are qualities that aid children's development. Practices that include regular habits of words and actions but especially of being, are highly respectful to children who cannot differentiate between themselves and the outside situations that cause adults to be harried. It's all personal for young children; they cannot separate themselves. They take in the world deeply with their unfiltered senses and look to adults for a picture that the world is good and they are welcome in it. If teachers and parents create regular habits around their day to day lives in particular around their way of being, this serves children's developmental needs. Rudolf Steiner referred to this as working "out of the etheric or habit body", which allows children to tap into a wellspring of energy flowing toward a solid foundation in life, building security and hopefulness. Multi-tasking and novelty on the otherhand, promote insecurity in the child who wonders what will happen next, how to meet it and who will pay attention to them. For the sake of our children, slow down, pay attention and keep it simple; giving children what they need most and see, it might serve the adults as well.