Things I Wish I Had Learned Sooner

We had a tape dispenser in my parents' house that said, "We grow too soon old and too late smart". I'm sure someone gave it to my mother and those words were invisible to her, but as a child, I remember wondering what they could mean. As an adult, I can now subscribe some meaning to them mostly in connection with my children since I learned about parenting by parenting them and now I know things that I didn't know then.

There are a few things I wish I knew sooner:

Clear, consistent boundaries are loving gestures that make children and their parents feel secure.

If you do the right things without peacefulness and joy, the actions will not bring the result you hoped for.

Children are not an opportunity to heal adult wounds or set things right from the parent's past.

Our children have their own paths and they might not match the ones we want for them.

We cannot fake anything with our children so we may as well be honest since they know what we are feeling anyway. It's okay to say "I'm feeling upset now so I'm going to take a minute until I feel better."

The sooner children learn that life will not mold itself to their wishes (so it's a false message to continually try to fulfill their desires), the sooner they can learn to live life on life's terms and be happy.

Children learn what they see so if we are imperfect yet striving to do and be our best, they will learn to strive and when they learn new things, they might sometimes wish they had learned them sooner, however, there is no going back, only forward. The best way to go forward is to keep learning and to share what we have learned so others may learn, too.