I don't want to go to school!

What do you do when your child resists going to school in the morning? I don't mean simply saying, "I don't want to go"; that's not how young children express themselves. I mean ear-splitting, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking cries and gluing to your leg along with other actions likely to rattle the nerves of even the most well rested, relaxed parent. First of all, make sure your child is fit (not sick) and that the environment of the school supports healthy childhood development. Then look within and notice the thought that something is wrong or that you must be a bad parent or this would not be happening. Acknowledge the feeling that accompanies the thought, and replace it with one like this. "He is doing this because he does not want to go outside his comfort zone. This is what children do to assert their will. It is my job as a good parent to "school" his will and to teach him that this is not an effective way of getting what he wants." Remember that children can hold only one attachment at a time so if you want him to attach to another adult, you have to let go. Then hug your child, tell him you love him and say, "This is what we are doing. We are getting ready to go to school now. You will play, make friends and learn there." When your child persists (and most do because their will is powerful although unschooled), then repeat the mantra. "This is what we are doing now" and carry on, remembering to keep calm (even if it is an act). Your calm demeanor and reassuring words will go a long way and eventually your child will learn that he/she can get along without you, but that lesson comes with experience, experience he does not have yet. Remember For now, he will have to place his trust in you rather than focusing on his fear of the unknown. In the long run, trusting you is an important lesson for him to learn, the foundation for many more to come.