"Treat people as if they are what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being." - Goethe
Last weekend, I went to the NYS Association for Education of the Young Child Conference and sat amongst colleagues; a group with whom I share aspirations and concerns. Together, we focused on the big picture; remembering what is important in our work. Removed from our day to day duties, we listened to speakers, talked amongst ourselves and filled notebooks with ideas of what we can implement in our programs.
I've found the value in revisiting fundamentals at conferences and making them new. For example, we discussed the simple concept that our responses to children are based on our perception of what they need. Anyone who has spent time in the company of children knows the refrain, "look at me". Simply put, children need to be seen. As teachers and caregivers, we must let them know, "I see you" and develop a kind of vision (based on knowing a child's potential) that brings out the best in them. It's a method that can build connections, confidence and success.
How do we learn to see in this way? First of all, we must believe that all children can and want to learn socially appropriate behavior and they are looking to us to teach them. They are doing what they do in order to get their needs met; their social emotional needs to be seen with eyes of acceptance and approval while learning. As long as we value the relationship and staying connected with the child even when the child has lessons yet unlearned, we will look with eyes of acceptance, (or at least fake it until we make it). We will see the small steps of progress. A great way to get started in developing this kind of vision is to write down ten good things we see in a child each day.
Through this work of consciously seeing the child, our eyes begin to glow with warmth like sunshine. While on my lunch break at the conference, I stepped outside of the center, feeling tired and filled up with information. The sun was shining so I sat down on a bench for a few minutes. Afterwards, I felt re-energized and ready to go back inside, open to learning more. It's amazing what sunshine will do for the body, soul and mind of an adult. Can you imagine what the glow of sunshine coming from a caring adult's eyes (no matter what the weather)will do for a child?
